The Basics

For Diversity's first issue, I thought I'd try to answer the perennial question: "What does that mean?" Here are some terms you should know:

SM - Sadomasochism
(preferable to S&M, which sounds like the candy...)
Describes the whole field of Pleasure-in-Pain

M/s - Master/slave
Deals more with the concept of...D/s - Dominance/submission. Basically; the submissive lends her/his power of decision-making to the dominant person. Often, but not always, includes SM play.

Top/bottom Some people use this term to describe simply the doer and the doee. Others use it to describe the SM positions only. Nobody has the definitive answer....

The Scene or The Community
describes us and our fellow perverts, generally those who are Out, e.g. not closeted(hidden) The majority of people in The Scene are non-professional.

A scene
Term used to describe the setting and roles of people who Play. Play - the term most used to describe what happens when two or more people get together for the purpose of "kinky" actions. May or may not include sex as your parents know it. Non-professional only! Professional term is "Session". (e.g. "I am in session" or " I just did a session")

Role Playing
A common way to set a scene, e.g. You are the schoolboy; I am the Headmistress.

Limits
Pre-set (as in "I can do this and this but I can't take this...") or used as a term for pain/humiliation tolerance ("I really want to expand my limits")

Safe Words
A pre-determined word or phrase which will slow, change or bring the scene to a halt when spoken by the Bottom. Allows both parties in a scene to be unrestrained in their Play - The masochist/submissive may exercise their passion for begging without fear of being listened to, the dominant may be sure that they are not exceeding the sub's limits.

Note on Safe Words: This is a good arrangement for ensuring consensuality (both parties agreeing to everything that happens) and I feel that the non-kinky community would do well to adopt them. The person who ignores a safe word consequently has a tough time finding any partner with whom to play. The word on a non-consensual partner spreads faster and farther than news of a royal wedding.....

Dominant, Mistress, Dominatrix, Master, Top, Sadist
The doers, the tellers, nominally the boss

submissive, slave, bottom, masochist
the doees, the order-takers, and the people with the most control of the structure of the Session/Play.(this fact upsets a lot of Dominants)

Note on Sadist - pronounced SAYdist or SADDist,( yes, that's right, a trip to the dictionary won't resolve this long-standing argument....) Speaking of dictionary, have a look in yours for what they have to say about sadism and masochism. Good for a laugh or two.

Fetish
A beloved object, without which the fetishist feels little or no sexual arousal. The fetishized object may be a foot, a shoe, a certain article of clothing, etc

Body-Worship
The slave must please the Mistress by showing diligence and passion in kissing or massaging parts of her body as she demands. (boots, legs, feet, buttocks... all choreographed by the Mistress) There is often a 'reward' - privileges or withholding punishment.

Slave-training
The slave is trained to respond instantly to commands, to carry out instructions well, to answer questions correctly, and to behave with respect and adoration.

Maid-training
The same, but in high-heeled shoes and a snappy outfit. Usually includes housework.

Discipline
The natural outcome of training. May consist of ritualized counting of blows, spanking or a beating with any one of: whips, floggers, straps, paddles, wooden spoons, etc etc. (graduated from easy to hard) or perhaps teasing, humiliation, further straining tasks, or whatever tickles my fancy at the time. Discipline is often done while the sub is in....

Bondage
Term for any method of restraining a sub. It is so often a part of the fantasy for people because it really is the ultimate in giving up of power. The sub is now literally out of control, as opposed to ritualistically out of control. Common bondage gear may include handcuffs, shackles, leather restraints, straight- jacket-type affairs, spreader-bars (ankle shackles with a brace to hold legs apart) lace-up arm gloves, ropes and thongs. The list is literally endless. Many people have specific fantasies about rope vs. leather or vice versa. Suspension apparatus is also very useful.

Cross-Dressing
Either with B&D or as a separate fantasy. There are an enormous number of male cross-dressers who are characterized by their fondness for the feel of womens' clothing and/or like to feel like woman. Most are straight, which is to say that they are heterosexual, not homosexual or bisexual. This type of session may or may not include any strict domination. Most simply enjoy the attention, the make-over, the dressing and undressing and re-dressing etc. Often as part of a session the new-made girls will be dragged (pardon the pun) out onto the street to go for coffee, dinner, or dancing. There are also quite a few female crossdressers - more than you'd think!

Adult Baby Fantasy
A desire to wear diapers, to be babied, to be held and cuddled. Hmm. Doesn't sound half bad.

Also, there are many toys and tools (more than I can list here) which can be a wonderful supplement to a good scene.

Hopefully this is some help... there really is so much to the Scene that I'd be at my keyboard a year before I could cover everything you'd need to know ...

Happy Playing...